The Invasion of Terrible Thoughts

I’m going to deviate a bit from my plans to write about one part of the Eightfold Path a week, although what I do want to talk about today is in fact a part of it. I will, though, return to that plan in the next couple of days or so.

What I do want to write about here is something that happened to me while I meditated a couple of days ago. What I TRY to do here and there is to grab anywhere from 15 to 20 minutes every other day or so during the week, right before bed, to meditate.

I don’t do anything fancy really, I just set my Zen Timer iPhone app, let it gong, and try to focus on my breathing. Once the ending bell rings, I’ll use the journaling function on the app to vent out my frustrations with wandering thoughts, nodding off (yikes, I just fessed up to that!), or rave about how well it went.

I’ve been out of practice lately. I’ve been finding it really difficult to find the time to sit lately — there was the passing of hubby’s grandmother, then last week was just … well … last week. I was exhausted through most of it (it’s just that time of year for us teachers — burnout time approaches) and I knew that if I tried to sit at the end of the day, that I’d just nod off and get mad at myself for it.

So, for the first time in almost a week, I sat. My mind was oddly well … not sure what it was or how to describe it. Not still, but not really racing either, just … busy. I could focus on my breathing, but there was definitely something in the background, and I felt like I was unconciously fighting it off. Eventually, I realized that my mind was filling with horrible, violent images and thoughts. I really don’t feel the need to describe them, but needless to say, I was very disturbed by them.

I kept trying to push them away, but it seemed the more I tried to, the more they’d come back, and be worse for it. Like it was trying to get me to notice — a child that wants attention, when pushed away, screams louder. That’s what this was doing. I was convinced for a bit that my job was to push these thoughts away — then, I seemed to remember in one of the podcasts I listened to a couple of weeks ago (I think it was an interview on Buddhist Geeks, or maybe Secular Buddhists? If anyone recognizes this, I’d love to be reminded of the podcast and episode so I can correctly refer to it here). The gist of what the interviewee said was that there are some forms of meditation in which we are not encouraged to push thoughts aside, but to “sit with them, as with a friend.” He also talked about examining the persistent thought, and try to find its source so that we may understand why it keeps coming up.

So, well, I thought, I’ll try. I’d never done anything like that before, all I’d ever done was concentrate on my breath. But, this darned though, DID NOT WANT TO GO! So, I let it win, and it sat with me.

Once I stopped fighting it, I realized what it was — remnants of news I’d heard that morning, about the doctor in Connecticut who lost his family after two men broke into his home, assaulted him and his family (and this is putting it mildly, they did some disgusting, horrible things), and burned the house. Unfortunately, I’d listened to every detail that CNN had to give. Frankly, mothers shouldn’t be subjected to listening to these things — because the irrational fear and paranoia that news had instilled in me that morning, had gone unexamined by myself, simply pushed aside as I went about my morning routine to get us all out of the house and to school. And it sat there. And festered.

When I finally sat, it popped up. It didn’t go away because I pushed it aside and busied myself with my routine. Without my realizing it, it had simply slunk off to a corner of my brain, and waited for that quiet moment to manifest itself.

So what did I do with it as I sat with it, as with a friend? There were a few things that came to my mind as I realized all of this had happened — I remembered a talk we’d had, where we discussed the futility of worrying over the unkown, the need to let go of ‘anticipation’ of things — whether good or terrible. We can drive ourselves completely mad worrying about all the things that could go wrong, and we do! We need to — I needed to — let go of that expectation, that fear, because it was and is, irrational. There is no way to know whether terrible things will or will not happen to my kids. I can only know that right now, they are tucked in bed, that they feel safe, and that I love them. I need to be present in that knowledge, and thankfully, I was able to get myself there.

Now that I’ve written this, I seem to remember Dana Nourie putting up in the Secular Community radio in Second Life, a talk on Distracting Talks, that did address the issue of the intrusion of thoughts … Dang. Now I have to go and find all that info! LOL.

Eightfold Path: Take One — Right view or understanding

OK, so I’m several days late and a dollar short on this one but, well, that’s the way I roll. The Skeptical Readers of SL reading group just wrapped up a few weeks’ worth of discussion on the Eightfold Path, which was really great!

I think I’m pretty good on, at this point, basically understanding the premise of what the Path is for (I’m lazy, I’ll just call it “the Path” from now on), and what each part basically is for or asks us to do. My big problem always is remembering ALL THE PARTS OF THE PATH! Ugh.

My nightmare in school has always been anything that requires rote memorization, while really, for some things in life, it’s really the only way. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is what is required for me here, ultimately. Much to my dismay.

To help myself along though, I’m going to try to get myself to write a few thoughts per week on one part of the Path. So, the first part of the Path is Right View or Understanding.

So, in a simple world, this would just mean “seeing things as they are,” which on the surface would be a “duh” moment, right? Basically, instead of telling yourself that the chocolate chip cookie you just scarfed down on the sly ‘didn’t count’ because nobody saw you eat it, you have to own up to the fact that it DOES count, and that you’ve added 360 more calories to your intake for the day (or however many calories a cookie is, who keeps track?) It could also be that really “simple” idea of seeing others for what they are, who they are, accepting them as they are, etc. So, removing labels from them, taking away the stories WE ourselves invent around them (the lady dragging her kids behind her grumpily and yelling at them may NOT be a bad mom, just someone having a bad day, or something else).

Simple right? Sure, if we’re going to be simplistic about it. Realistically though, Right View is really difficult. Here’s a snippet from the Path from www.thebigview.com:

Right view is the beginning and the end of the path, it simply means to see and to understand things as they really are and to realise the Four Noble Truth. As such, right view is the cognitive aspect of wisdom. It means to see things through, to grasp the impermanent and imperfect nature of worldly objects and ideas, and to understand the law of karma and karmic conditioning. Right view is not necessarily an intellectual capacity, just as wisdom is not just a matter of intelligence. Instead, right view is attained, sustained, and enhanced through all capacities of mind. It begins with the intuitive insight that all beings are subject to suffering and it ends with complete understanding of the true nature of all things. Since our view of the world forms our thoughts and our actions, right view yields right thoughts and right actions.

This is not simply a question of what we tell ourselves, how we label others, or events. Right view is about “understanding things as they really are.” Not just people, THINGS, as in all of them. Death, birth, life, rocks, mountain, trees, people, politics, religion, dolphins, the ocean, countries, nationalities, languages, all of it.

“It means to see things through, to grasp the impermanent and imperfect nature of worldly objects and ideas …” So letting go of expectations — expecting events to turn out a certain way, building up anticipation for plans — whether it be for our plans for the day, or those darned “10-year plans” some of our professions ask us to have. Part of the Four Noble Truths referenced in the quote deals with the idea of suffering, and that suffering has a cause. Part of that cause is — especially as Westerners — having such a difficult time with the idea of not being in full control of our own destiny.

We grow up with this sense that if we work hard enough, long enough, if we do things ‘just so,’ that our lives will turn out the way we want it to. We have 100% responsibility over the OUTCOME, the MATERIAL outcome of our lives. Here’s the big question: Do we really?

No. I think we can all think of several occasions when our best laid plans were dashed thanks to unforseen events. How did we react to that? Be honest. I often pitch a complete, total, tantrum. Cursing may be involved. As well as stomping. Pouting. Definitely pouting, too.

Why? Why all this anguish? Because instead of seeing, or having understanding that in the end, this turnaround is NOT the end of the world (most of the time), we grow frustrated because our house of cards got knocked over by a breeze we weren’t expecting to pass by. What if we had no real expectations for this stack of cards? What if, WHAT IF, you just started stacking those cards up. Didn’t have a plan. Didn’t get all excited about building it up 6 feet high with some fancy geometric configuration in mind. What if, you just built it. And that’s it. Would you mind then, if it got knocked down? What would your VIEW be, of that event? Of the knocking down of the cards? Of the breeze that passed by?

Then, it would just be a breeze (rather than that $%#(* breeze that messed up my )#$%@! cards), and because you hadn’t formed any attachment, any idea or expectation for those cards, you’d walk away from them with less frustration, or, simply, just start again, curious to see what kind of house of cards you’ll build next.

There’s more to this idea than just what I’ve written here, but my point simply is — there’s more to the Path that one might initially see upon reading about it. Nothing is as simple as it seems — if you think it’s simple, you’re probably looking at it from the wrong angle, so change your perspective!

And that, is MY interpretation of Right View.

Wonder if it’s all wrong? LOL!

On passing …

I’ve been mulling over this topic for the last few days, since my husband’s grandmother passed away earlier this week. Before journaling any of my thoughts here in a public way, I wanted to be really very careful about what I write and how I write it, so I’ve been writing and editing heavily for the past few days now.

There are so many questions and issues that arise when one experiences a loss that hits close to home. I have to say up front that, growing up in what amounts to a family with secular beliefs, the ideas of church, religious weddings and funerals have always been a very foreign concept to me … let me clarify, not the idea of getting married or dying and honoring the dead itself, more the rituals which surround these events. I suppose that unless you’ve grown up with an understanding of the symbolism behind the rituals and words, wedding ceremonies and funeral rites from any faith is alien — which is basically where I am coming from.

Before I go on much more, I do feel the need to acknowledge the individual who has left our circle this week — known to many of us as in my family as Gramma B, and to many others as Aunt Mary, or simply, Mary. To one important person still with us today, as Mom.

She was indeed a very special person who cherished family and friends, and was very interested in daily happenings, both locally and around the world. She kept track of the news in the neighborhood (not necessarily in a nosy way, either), and around the world. On the day of her passing, I visited my mother in law to find many members of our huge family gathered in her kitchen, going through Gramma B’s stacks of notebooks in which she recorded anything that happened that she found of local importance. She was our historian. Thanks to her, we are reminded of the one-room school house that was moved by being drawn by horses, the ‘highway’ made of planks of wood that used to run by our town, and that my mother in law (her daughter) accidentally washed her hair with dog shampoo *snicker*.

Gramma was very spiritual, and valued a great deal what she saw as moral behavior, honesty, and hard work. She loved her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren, and made sure she gave what she could to anyone who would ask — or didn’t ask. There wasn’t much that would escape her notice. One of my favorite memories of her is of when I first realized that I was pregnant with my son, before we were ready to tell anyone our happy news, Gramma B came right out and asked me if I was expecting (she was also brutally honest!). I lied and said no, but I could tell she didn’t believe me for one second. To her credit, I believe she kept her suspicion to herself. I still have no idea how she knew, but she did. Hawk’s eye, she had.

The outpouring of care shown by neighbors, friends and families since Gramma B’s passing has been impressive. I suppose that is one of the purposes of some of these rituals — the viewing and the funeral — to show those who are feeling the loss that they are not going it alone, that they have emotional and material support to get through this period of grieving. It’s an instrument of survival.

That being said, there are parts of it that remain a mystery to me, but that isn’t really my purpose in writing right now.

Since Gramma’s passing, the question of my own Skeptical Buddhist perspective on death and what happens afterward has very much come to the forefront for me — as the questions of death and the hereafter do for anyone else at a time such as this. I’ve heard some individuals make interesting comments about Gramma’s passing — that it was tragic, terrible, that it’s unfortunate that we should have to suffer a loss like this. I certainly do understand these sentiments — losing someone is difficult. Gramma B had a very special place in all of our lives. Losing her is no small matter.

That being said, in all honesty, at the risk of sounding cruel — I was happy for her. I miss her, and I cried at her funeral today, but that was for me. I don’t find it particularly cruel that death should be a part of our lives, or a part of hers. It’s inevitable. As Stephen Bachelor wrote, when talking about Buddha’s teachings and on meditating on death

Since death alone is certain and the time of death uncertain, what should I do?

The only uncertain part of death is the when of it, not that it will happen. Why should we resist the idea that this will happen?

No conditions are permanent;
No conditions are reliable

That’s the Buddha. The idea that anything in life should be permanent — including the state of being alive — that is what causes us the most grief, is it not? The loss of what we hope and dream would last for ever. The fear of death coming to take us away from our status as ‘living.’ These are the things that cause us fear, anguish and stress. The avoidance of this inevitable fact leads us to pursue so many strange things — Botox injections, herbal remedies against signs of aging, plastic surgery, and more. When these things fail us, and we appear to be making that inevitable progress toward the inevitable end, we grow unhappy. Simply because we resist what is patently inevitable!

I say that I am happy for Gramma B, because all of us who knew her, know that she was not happy in the nursing home. She had hoped for the moment of meeting her Maker for a long time, and was very well prepared for it. She lived her life in such a way so as to make sure she would be ready for this day whenever it were to come. She had many, many years to prepare, and she did. Her memory had been failing her these last few years, and in the months preceding her moving in to the nursing home, she was clearly frustrated and sometimes embarrassed by some of the ways in which her memory was failing her.

I am sad for us, the living, but I am happy for Mary Barnes, the woman I met 13 years ago. Her death is not terrible or tragic, but a beautiful, inevitable, part of our lives — at least, from my point of view. Not one to put much stock into the idea of after life, I do still have a sense that she has been released from the restrictions of the vessel in which she was housed, which had been failing her for many years now. Part of me has to believe that she has found some relief in this. How could I see that as tragic? Or terrible?

I don’t believe she’s and angel or a ghost out there, but I do believe that I see her in the smile of her many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

In that way, she lives on, and will continue to as the generations continue to move on along their course.

 

Labeling

It’s pretty early in the morning and I’ve only got about 10 minutes to bang this out. Let’s see how well I do with my thoughts on 1/2 a cup of coffe! LOL.

One of my friends posted this article in her FaceBook about the issue of Labeling — as in the Buddhist definition of Labeling. The article, written by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche published in an online article for the Huffington Post, I felt really did a great job of spelling out the problems of Labeling as seen from the Buddhist perspective.

As an educator seeing all these recent stories about teens taking their lives for the various forms of bullying they are going through, this issue really speaks to me at this time. As a parent with two young children who have just entered the public school system, I also look at this issue quite closely — more closely now that I’ve gained a greater understanding of Labeling from the Buddhist standpoint.

Looking out at my classroom, every day, I have to admit that I see the labels that we traditionally place on students (and that we ourselves as students placed on ourselves as teenagers): The Jocks, the Popular Girls, the Troublemakers, the Loners, the Angstful ones, the Nerd, and the Kid Everyone Thinks Is Gay. As a teacher, I’ve always done my best to take each student on his or her own worth, and have always understood the importance of doing so in terms of education. As a beginning buddhist practitioner, this importance has taken on a more far-reaching meaning. In the article, Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche states:

“Because of this labeling mind, we have friends and enemies, black and white, gay and straight, good and bad. In society, people put more weight on this label or that one, and so we experience segregation and discrimination. In Buddhism, we call this duality — our mind’s tendency to divide up the world into pairs of opposites. This is the root of so much of our suffering.”

As rational thinking people, we always know this to be true. I think we realize that opposites are somewhat fabricated — think of the “opposite” that we create between “cats” and “dogs.” Why are they opposites? They’re not even the same species. We’ve made them opposites because we’ve fabricated this cultural idea of cats and dogs fighting all the time. If you place a cat and a dog in a room, however, in my own experience, you’ll have a cat who couldn’t care less, or you’ll have the cat who will corner the dog. It’s not the case that the species are opposites, it’s more likely that the nature of one individual cat that influences it’s decision to ignore or chase that dog (I’m thinking of one particular, petite cat we owned who cornered a Boston Terrier three times her size, and a fat fluffy orange male cat who slept through the whole ordeal). The idea that dogs and cats are opposites make no more sense, really, than the idea that bird and fish are opposites. How do we know? Try explaining the idea of cats and dogs being opposite to a school-age child who is learning “opposites” in school (ugh). You’ll see how difficult it is to explain — and how ridiculous it all sounds once you start trying to put it into words.

This idea of having Labeling being an issue spelled out for us in Buddhist thinking, though, is important. We know it’s pretty well irrational, makes no real sense, and pits two camps against each other. As western thinkers, however, we are not usually led to the conclusion that it is one of the things that we do as a culture that leads to actual suffering. I mean, how could something we are taught by our pre-K teachers lead to SUFFERING? But it does.

I’m thankful for my friend who posted this article — it reminded me of the sea of faces I see every day, and the labels that our students are burdened with, that they carry around all day long. I hope I can do a decent job today of taking those labels off in my own mind. Maybe it’ll make some kind of difference? We’ll see.

What The Buddha Taught

Ok so, in my attempts to learn more about Buddhism, I’ve done a lot of searching. And as previously mentioned, I found a lot of really great sources of information and support. The major form of support I get is for now, virtually (see previous post).

Between Second Life, Face Book and other forms of online communication, I’ve gotten a lot of great information and found a wonderful virtual community — or virtual Sangha.

The people in this Sangha have been instrumental in helping me put together the Skeptical Readers of SL group and get it up and running. We’ve met the past couple of Sundays and talked about the book we are currently working on, “What The Buddha Taught” by Walpola Rahula.

From what I hear, this is the work that was recommended to many of those in the Sangha by their own teachers, when my Sangha-mates (yes, I made that up, sorry) were first starting their studies, so I’m encouraged that it’s a good starting point for the rest of us beginners too

I loved the energy of our talk! Chapter one of this book is pretty straightforward, with the major themes being clearly introduced and to me, mostly topics with which I was pretty familiar:

* The idea of questioning and inquiry (Don’t just take someone’s teachings on faith. Question, test and question again on your own. Be your own judge of the results. “Faith” and “belief” is not asked of anyone in Buddhism).

* Religious tolerance — The Buddha himself was open to other religions and accepting of those from other religions going to talk to him, learn from him, question him. He did not expect Buddhism to be the “one true” philosophy or way of life, never told other to turn away from the religions or faiths that they themselves may have held.

* Religious labels — There is only truth — no Christian Truth, no Islamic Truth, no Christian Love etc., just truth, just love. Truth can’t be claimed by any one school of thought, it’s more universal than that.

And more.

What I’m finding more challenging is with Chapter 5 so far, which looks at the Eightfold Path, which is the Fourth Noble Truth. I’ve only just really gotten a semi-grasp of these two thing: The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. I’m hoping that grasping those concepts is half the battle

I’m not sure what I need to do to get the eight parts of the Eightfold Path to stick in my memory (maybe that’s where some of that ritual chanting comes in? Not my bag, but perhaps it had this purpose at one time), but I find that part of things to be just as troubling as any of the concepts that are attached to them. I also have a hard time remembering the order in which they’re usually placed. Thank goodness one of my Sangha-mates (Jan Ford!) sent me a link to a Web site that I really liked — mainly because it was very simple and minimalist. That’s my style! Here it is for anyone who’d like to take a look at it too:

http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/eightfoldpath.html

This topic also lead to — of course — a really great discussion among all of us. Some great questions were brought up, like the “Right Intentions” part of the Eightfold Path, among the many, many other topics of discussion that arose. How does one know if he or she is performing something with the right intention? The most interesting thing to me about this is that really, because of how this particular brand of Buddhism works, the only person who really knows, is YOU. Not a God, no deity, no lightning strike out of the sky or the gaping mouth of Hell awaiting you in the afterlife: You. You have to deal with YOU. THAT, to me, is daunting, but so refreshing at the same time.

Only *I* know why I’m doing something, the spirit in which I am doing it. I guess in a way, you could say that for all of the parts of the Eightfold Path. To me, this is the draw, this is the “thing” that brings me to Skeptical Buddhism. It’s that idea that I have to answer to me. I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror and know who I am, what I’ve done, and feel that I can love myself for those things.

What if more of us were to do that? Wouldn’t that be an amazing thing?

So far, I’m a terrible blogger — between meadering writings and not posting often, things aren’t looking good. Hopefully I’ll get some skills in this soon hahaha.

Virtual support

A pic of where it is we meet

OK so … one of the points of frustration for me as a beginning Buddhist is having trouble finding LIVE support. You know, someone to talk to about what I need to know, ask questions to about what I’ve read, someone to simply learn from. I believe they’re called “Dharma Friends,” from what I’ve picked up through listening to various podcasts (see? this is what I mean!) Someone who helps you walk along the path, basically, and serves as a guide to those who are starting out and learning the basics.

Definitely, from what I’ve seen, Skeptical and Secular Buddhism are budding branches of this philosophy. There seems to be groups in some of the larger metropolitan areas, looks like maybe on the West Coast of the U.S. and Canada, and maybe the Mid-West? Not sure. Either way, all I can say is that in my neck of the woods — rural Central New York — I can only find one reference to Buddhism, and it’s some kind of really heavily ritualized form of Buddhism. Not my bag.

So where have I gotten what I know so far (which isn’t much, really)? Online, mainly. The most valuable information I’ve picked up has come from the almost-real interactions of the 3D virtual world — Second Life. There have been other sources of information too — podcasts, books, Web sites, face book pages and more. All of those, however, are limited in the sense that it is a one-way conversation — the author talking to me, or the interviewer and interviewee talking to each other. I, however, get no opportunity to interject, ask questions or take part in the conversation. As an educator, I know that most learning comes from active, social situations in which students get the opportunity for some give-and-take.

That’s where Second Life has come in for me. Like I said, 3D virtual world, and yes, the sordid stories you MAY have heard about some of the goings-on there are true. Let’s make this clear: Second Life is the Internet, 3D, and you do interact with others who are surfing in this 3D manifestation of this world. So whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, you can find on the Internet, you’ll find there — the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I’ve chosen to go with the good, and use SL as the one and only place where I can have a Sangha — a group of practitioners with which to meet and from whom I can learn. In Second Life, I’ve been lucky enough to find two great groups — Skeptical Buddhists’ Sangha, and Secular Community. They have both been instrumental in putting me in touch with some valuable information and support in my early stages of learning about Buddhism.

Unfortunately, those who run and organize the meetings for these groups seem very busy in RL (real life), and haven’t had many meetings lately. So, in my desperation, I created a reading group in SL, specifically for beginners like myself.

Our first meeting for this reading group (Skeptical Readers of SL) was on Sunday, and I was really excited at how well it went. It definitely wouldn’t have gone as well had it not been for the support of Sung Hifeng (his SL avatar’s name). This is what I mean about support from virtual sources — he’s clear across the other side of the country from where I am, but he was able to “sit” in a “room” with me, help me gather other like-minded individuals to meet us in SL, and talk about our first reading, answer questions in REAL-TIME (none of this posting and waiting for hours and days for a reply stuff) about what we should read, when, how, etc.

I’m really excited about this group, and I’m hoping we can gather a few more people for the next meeting, which will again be on Sunday at 5:30 p.m. PST (that’s the time they operate on in SL). We’ll be talking about Chapter 1 of “What The Buddha Taught” By Walpola Rahula, and I know that I’ll get so much out of the give-and-take that will take place with everyone!

If you are reading this, and want to consider joining SL, or if you already play SL and want to join us next week, I hope you do! Feel free to look me up in-word and ask any questions. My avatar’s name is Ryuko Naminosaki.

Finally, if you want to check out my group’s Skeptical Reader’s Haven, feel free to click on the link below. You’ll need to have an SL account to log in and take a peek, of course:

http://slurl.com/secondlife/elie%20island/143/8/21

Ahem …

… Well, I’m just going to jump in where I am — the beginning, or close to it.

I’m a mom, wife, teacher, and recently have become a student of Buddhism. Specifically, I’m a practitioner of what’s called Secular or Skeptical Buddhism … I think there’s some kind of difference between the two, but to be honest, at this point, I couldn’t quite tell you what that difference is LOL!

That’s precisely what this blog is about: The learning that takes place while on the journey on the path toward what all Buddhists are working to attain, which is Enlightenment. I’m hoping to slowly put together a somewhat organized source (for myself and for others), of information for those just starting their studies/research/journey on Buddhism from the Skeptical/Secular point of view.

I actually, believe it or not, grew up with an awareness of Buddhism. My father is a scholar of classical Japanese literature, and my mother is a Japanese immigrant — although at this point she’s been thoroughly Americanized. In any event, Buddhism has always been a part of my background. I grew up with some stories, with a vague knowledge that it had an influence on my life, but that was it. It wasn’t until I began to seek out my own answers to spiritual questions that I really began to look more closely at Buddhism — really, I’d looked at Buddhism only after I’d already looked at Christianity from various angles, and even read parts of the Koran and looked at Taoism.

While examining those religions independently (read: from a complete layperson’s point of view. I’m NOT schooled in theology or philosophy in any way whatsoever), I formed my own set of ideas and philosophy. Honestly, I saw so many common threads between all those religions I began to wonder what all the arguments were about, REALLY. Then I caught a glimpse of Buddhism, and was taken aback by how closely the point of view I’d developed on my own, matched that of Buddhism. So I read on.

All that was while I was in university. After a hiatus during which I pursued careers, marriage and toddlers, I’ve once again found the time to look at Buddhism, and am elated to find this school of Buddhism that believes in approaching it from a Skeptical point of view — that is to say, to examine what the Buddha ACTUALLY taught, and to approach his teachings from a non-mystical, non-ritualistic, and non-dogmatic approach.

As a beginner though, I have to say, that THIS IS HARD STUFF! There ARE resources out there that I’ve found helpful, including podcasts, web sites, facebook pages and even an virtual Sangha in Second Life (which, for those who are not familiar, is a virtual world in which people from all around the world can meet and create avatars which can communicate and interact with each other in real-time. More on that another time).

Living in conservative, rural America, it’s difficult for me to learn much about Buddhism, let alone Secular Buddhism. In my area, there are no Sanghas or meetup groups for this particular branch of the philosophy. The online resources that are out there, and those individuals who DO help out and have information are — I’m going to just spit it out here — very academic. Half the time, I’ll read one paragraph over about oh … let’s say … five times, just to make sure I KIND OF understand what is being said. I’m pretty certain I still get it wrong most of the time, and feel like a dolt making comments or asking questions that seem way, way, WAY more basic than anything else that is being posted on those sites.

It’s NOT EASY being a non-academic, un-scholarly Secular Buddhist who is just starting out. Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m smart, I’m just not an academic, if you know what I mean. I need things spoon-sized and fairly easy to digest. I’ll catch on quickly when information is delivered that way, and I’ll be quick on my feet in a debate or exchange of ideas (once I latch on to them), but my words may be … ah … simple. I have to think that I’m not the only one like this who is on this journey of Skeptical Buddhism!

I don’t mean this to be critical, either, of the Skeptical or Secular Buddhist groups or practitioners!  I believe the resources and individuals out there are outstanding — anything I’ve ever asked or said has been responded to WELL, and with great care to making sure I understand what is being said. When I came up with the idea of creating a Reading Club geared toward beginner Buddhists  in Second Life, I received a lot of encouragement and support from those in the virtual Sangha. The secular community is a wonderful, accepting group of people of which I am happy to consider myself a member.

Simply put, I hope I can fill in the place of being a stepping stone toward getting to where those people who have been helping me are — hoping to be the first rung of the ladder, shall we say. The bottom rung! LOL!

So, this is going to be the story of this walk along this path, building this ‘bottom rung of the ladder,’ and I invite anyone else who is in the same boat (well, and those who might be ahead of us too!) to join me here. As I blog, I’ll try to figure out how to posts links and such to informational sites, podcasts and other materials that might be helpful. I do have a Second Life Reading group that I’ll talk about more another time. For now, this is my intro

If you read all this, THANKS. Hopefully I’ll talk to you soon.